Almost six months ago our family decided to take advantage of an incredible work opportunity at TrainingPeaks. With the whole family being life long New Englanders, moving 2,000 miles to Colorado was a tough decision. The tougher decision was to live apart for several months (with lots of short and long visits) to accommodate work and school situations.
The following is a letter I wrote to my almost teenage Son to give him some perspective on what he as an individual could choose to take away from the situation. It is a letter I revisit myself frequently because it contains many foundational beliefs I hope to have for the rest of my life.
One of the ways I hope to stay connected with you in the coming year besides phone and video is by email. I’ll have more time to write while I’m in Colorado and want to continue passing along what lessons I can even though we may be physically separated.
The first thing I want to do is give you some perspective on why we decided to make this move. I consider my two most important jobs to be 1. the best husband and 2. the best father I can which has made deciding on this move one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to consider. I sometimes still question whether being away from you and Mom is the best move for our family but we believe with all the information we have it’s the right thing to do.
You may be tired of hearing me say this but I’ll tell you again that we all have a choice as to how we react to this (and any) situation. I want to share my perspective on the lessons I’m choosing to learn from this in hopes it helps you choose how to react to it.
Made a decision and go full out – While talking to my Dad about this move, one of the things he said to me that helped clarify things is that we’ll never have all the information we need to make the decision. But, once a decision is made, go for it. Now that we’ve made this decision, let’s take full advantage of it. Make new friends, explore new places, try new things.
Step outside of your comfort zone – Your Mom and I have lived in the same area (NH or Massachusetts) for our entire lives. Moving outside of this area is going to make all of us uncomfortable at times. To some that may be a bad thing but trust us when we tell you that in the long run it will be a great thing. Remember the voicemail that Grandpa left you from the top of the mountain in Colorado? What I remember from it is he told you to persevere through the apprehension and anxiety because on the other side are incredible opportunities. I say the bigger the anxiety the bigger the opportunities!
Pursue your passions – One of the biggest things I hope as a Dad you learn from all this is what I’m trying to do by leading by example – pursuing a passion. If you can find something that you are passionate about doing every day, it won’t seem like work. I see this kind of passion in you with basketball (and even video games!). I feel so strongly about this opportunity at Peaksware that it has led to lots of difficult decisions being made about our move. But in the end, the goal is that both Mom and I can be doing something we love and believe in, while also doing the best thing for the one thing that we both love more than anything else, you.
Don’t settle – I can guarantee you that if you can learn how to expect more of yourself than anyone else, you’ll have an incredibly happy and fulfilling life. I know it is a hard thing to get in the habit of doing, especially at 12 (almost 13!) but I promise you the rewards are well worth the effort. Mom and I are so persistent in communicating this to you because of how much we love you and want you to have a happy and fulfilling life.
It doesn’t matter where we are as long as we do it together – Even though we’ll be separated for chunks of time over the next year, and then in a new place for all of us, we are doing it as a family. Thankfully, technology makes the world a smaller place and I know we’ll find a way to stay connected despite the distance. Being part of the family means communicating and helping each other when there are tough times. There will be tough times over the next year as well as incredibly happy times. Make sure you are communicating to us about all of them and I promise to do the same with you and Mom.
I love you kiddo.
Dad
Dave Criswell 